The greatest self-help advice of 2018
“I can’t live without it.”
I have to do it.”
“ I need it.
We all have our vices, our addictions. Some of us can’t help but check Instagram or Facebook every other. Some of us can’t help but splurge online. Some of us can’t help but continue to eat even when we’re full.
We do it because we enjoy it, or we do it because what we really want is something familiar to distract from doing the task at hand.
Oh, I need to turn in the essay tomorrow? Okay, let me first finish checking my Instagram feed first.
Oh, I won’t get my paycheck until next week? Okay, let buy this anyways and use my credit card.
Oh, I’m full and can’t eat another bite? Okay, let me stop after I finish this bowl of ice cream.
And some of us really can’t help it; we suffer from mental disorders that make it extremely difficult, impossible, to stop.
But the truth is, most of us can. We’re just unwilling to stop. We’d rather remain where we are basking in the aura of familiarity instead of stepping beyond our comfort zones to do the things that scare us, that terrify us.
Nobody wants to run if they’ve never run before. Nobody wants to go on a diet if they’ve never been on one before. It doesn’t mean they can’t, they just don’t want to.
We’re capable of a lot more than we say we are. Both you and I know this, but we refuse to admit it.
And the guilt that comes with it sucks. It eats at us, consumes us when we make excuses for the promises we’ve made. It haunts us when we look at ourselves in the mirror, when we wake up in the morning or when we’re looking out the window on a rainy day. We’re guilty about not doing the things we should do, and yet, we’d rather feel that way than to actually do it. We’d rather let those feelings eat at us, and haunt us than to take action.
What we fear isn’t change. It’s the consequences of that change. We fear that once we take that first step, we’ll lose a part of what we’re familiar with. We fear losing what we already have for something that’s unknown. It’s like wanting to stay home with your parents than going to school as a kid on the very first day.
And we can read all the self-help books and listen to all the motivational talks we can but it won’t matter, none of it will, if we ourselves are the ones fighting that change. We don’t need the advice, we don’t need the speeches because deep down, we already know we’re capable of change. We already know what we need to do. We just refuse to do it.
And unless we face ourselves, face our guilts, and acknowledge our addictions, we’ll never get the life we’ve envisioned, the one that we deserve but are incapable of achieving because of the limit we’ve set for ourselves. No-one can help us unless we help ourselves.
It’s not not them. It’s us. We call the shots.